Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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