their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
