Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
