what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize