HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
