don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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