I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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