But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
