How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
