i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
