If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
