If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
