How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
