Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize