This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Found your dick twin last night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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