you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
