hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
