No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
