The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
