in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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