on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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