I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
