Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
