Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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