tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
