I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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