i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize