i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
