There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize