I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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