Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize