he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
