I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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