Whod you bang
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
