I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize