I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
