so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
