fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
