Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
how do you play pong handcuffed?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
