Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
