i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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