No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
