Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize