strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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