Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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