Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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