he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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