i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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