i don't like sucking hair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
