sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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