We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
