is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
