If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
