Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
