Redeem this text for a blowjob
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
