rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
