The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize