arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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