no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
