are you still at the devil's house?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
