i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
