You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
