yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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