I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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