Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize