i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
