my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
