i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
