Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize