Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
