i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
