i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
