Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize