you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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