the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
