And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
