An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
