Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize