What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
